So.. About my day... About what I did to remind myself of the responsibility of loving every day...
I got to sleep in and spend some time alone today. I went window shopping at WalMart and Target and also stopped at Blick to get a couple of new paint colors. I painted a little too when I got home. It was really great to get out and hang out by myself with nowhere specific to go or a specific time to be there. Now, I'm looking at the clock and realizing that I didn't do anything productive around the apartment but reminding myself that it's okay - even good - to have a day of nothing every once in a while.
My responsibilities for the day were ignored and now have a day crammed with some responsibilites tomorrow. Laundry, getting dog food, getting easy dinners, cleaning dishes, cleaning out the bird cages and vacuuming. Hopefully, Mike will help me and I need to be comfortable with asking for help. That's my goal tomorrow along with spending 15 minutes doing something that I want to do for myself. I may stop at Payless and get a pair of shoes. Or I'll paint. Or if it's beautiful again, I'm going for a short walk with my camera.
What did you do today? Did you get to spend a whole day doing nothing or was your day filled up with chores and other responsibilities? If you did have to do responsible things today, did you spend at least 15 minutes of your day doing something just for you because you wanted to?
One of the things that's getting easier for me to do is doing something that I want to do; something for me; something that I really want to do. The most difficult parts are feeling okay with doing these things and reminding myself that I don't have to justify how I feel. I have a right to feel like doing something - or nothing - and there isn't necessarily a reason.
I have a homework assignment for those of you who have a similar problem as I do. Take 15 minutes out of your day tomorrow and do something that you want to do. Read, write, draw, paint, drive around town, stop at the mall, get a vanilla shake from Portillo's (which I almost did today), go for a walk, close your eyes, play with a child - with permission. I don't care what you do - do something for you! Then get back to your responsibilities but remember why you stopped in the first place. Loving every day is what it's all about. Without love, there is no life.
