Taking Time for Myself

You know, this blog is something I do because I want to (sometimes). I don't always want to write this - every single day. As you can see, my thoughts and emotions get so overwhelming that I have let this get away from me. I get too immersed in my every day responsibilities and don't allow myself the 15 minutes that it takes to write this for all of you. Don't get me wrong, I like writing. I love it. I feel as though I need to make sure that this is uplifting for all of you. It is about making a decision to love every day. I apologize that I haven't been able to keep up with it all the time for you. I realize that it can be very difficult to do every single day. It's a big commitment.  But don't be afraid.  I'm here for you.  The readers are here for you.  Share this with others so that they all can be here for you too.

So..  About my day...  About what I did to remind myself of the responsibility of loving every day...

I got to sleep in and spend some time alone today.  I went window shopping at WalMart and Target and also stopped at Blick to get a couple of new paint colors.  I painted a little too when I got home.  It was really great to get out and hang out by myself with nowhere specific to go or a specific time to be there.  Now, I'm looking at the clock and realizing that I didn't do anything productive around the apartment but reminding myself that it's okay - even good - to have a day of nothing every once in a while.

My responsibilities for the day were ignored and now have a day crammed with some responsibilites tomorrow. Laundry, getting dog food, getting easy dinners, cleaning dishes, cleaning out the bird cages and vacuuming. Hopefully, Mike will help me and I need to be comfortable with asking for help. That's my goal tomorrow along with spending 15 minutes doing something that I want to do for myself. I may stop at Payless and get a pair of shoes. Or I'll paint. Or if it's beautiful again, I'm going for a short walk with my camera.

What did you do today?  Did you get to spend a whole day doing nothing or was your day filled up with chores and other responsibilities?  If you did have to do responsible things today, did you spend at least 15 minutes of your day doing something just for you because you wanted to? 

One of the things that's getting easier for me to do is doing something that I want to do; something for me; something that I really want to do.  The most difficult parts are feeling okay with doing these things and reminding myself that I don't have to justify how I feel.  I have a right to feel like doing something - or nothing - and there isn't necessarily a reason. 

I have a homework assignment for those of you who have a similar problem as I do.  Take 15 minutes out of your day tomorrow and do something that you want to do.  Read, write, draw, paint, drive around town, stop at the mall, get a vanilla shake from Portillo's (which I almost did today), go for a walk, close your eyes, play with a child - with permission.  I don't care what you do - do something for you!  Then get back to your responsibilities but remember why you stopped in the first place.  Loving every day is what it's all about.  Without love, there is no life.

What Makes You Happy?

Ok.  Since I have my blog designed to write about what I've done for the day even though you're reading it first thing in the morning so I'm going to talk about my day today.  This morning was rough for me.  Many of you are unaware of the struggles that I've been struggling with especially during these past 2-3 months. 

This morning, I was feeling extremely depressed.  I knew that there were many emotions whirling around up in my head but I was unable to identify them, the first time in more than two months.  It became completely overwhelming...

I have a list of things, they're called "coping skills".  I'm trying to find the healthy balance of using these coping skills to not only help me cope with an issue but to use these skills to help me allow my emotions to be felt while still allowing myself to work successfully throughout the day and through any problem that may arise.  Today, I needed to focus on using my coping skills to get away from the place I was and to come to an emotional place so that I could focus on and be successful at work.  I feel as though I was very successful and I had a really fun time with it too.  It's great to be doing something and to finally enjoy doing it! :)

Anyway, the skill I've been working on most often is sketching and drawing.  I'm trying to be positive about them and I'm going to share them with you.  Let me know what you think!  I hope they help brighten your day.

The cover (to be completed) of my positive affirmations to help remind me of what's important and remove the "black & white" thinking zone that I've been stuck in.

I am designing a tattoo around this bird symbolizing guidance.  I've kind of hit a "writer's block" but I'll update it as it comes along.

"Tree of Emotion"
One of my early ones (like these all aren't brand new....).  Different emotions are different colors and they all have their own impact on those around them.

Untitled
Any thoughts???

"You Make my Heart Dance"
Sometimes it feels as though Mike & his heart will remind me to get up and keep on loving and caring.